For those readers that care, the newest episode of Doctor Who is a terrifying look at the blitz. Scariest episode this show will ever make in all 40-someodd years it runs.
Saw the new HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy last night. It's different from the book but I have to say I think I like the changes. Sam Rockwell pulls in a subtle (or maybe not-so subtle) imitation of a sort of George Bush as galactic president. And the love story was always there, they just brought it to the fore-front which I have to say gave Trillian more of a purpose in the story. I original Marvin's chameo appearance in the acquittal line.
I went to a friend's wedding; I left mid-way through the day from work on Friday, got stuck in an hour long train of immobilized motorists lolling along at our near REM-inducing 7 miles per hour. That's not really the point of me writing this, it's just how I got to where I had a strange life experience.
It's strange for a variety of reasons; one, I have known these people from the very day they met, literally. Watching this kind of monumental thing happen in someone else's life is really strange. I'm happy for them and all that, but I mean; that's it. They in theory, in some combination of the two of them, will watch each other die. I was there when they introduced themselves, and now I'm watching them exchange vows.
And the second is harder to deal with, so here's how it happened. I'm at the rehearsal dinner, Heather seated to my left. When into the room comes the Groom's family. In all the time I have known him he never told me he had two brothers... and as they approached I began to have a torrent of mixed emotions as to why that might be. The first of the two of them bore a striking resemblance to Tim except he looked so out of place, lost in the way you think of 6 year olds in an early-evening supermarket. Then the second of his brother's came into view and my heart found a new pace; he was drooling. Both of Tim's siblinbs had some mental disability. Tim had never told me, I have known him for 4 years now, and I am almost certain he never mentioned siblings. I did what felt right, I greeted them and tried to make them feel like they weren't somewhere at the end of isle 6, the entire time feeling that sudden pressure around the eyes that comes with the notion of having felt something you aren't sure how to deal with.
I don't know the medical condition they have, I don't know what the taxonomy we would choose to describe someone that was genetically robbed of something so precious. I've met people with Down's Syndrome and in that experience I felt like I had been taught a lesson or two about this "having a life" thing. But this was something new altogether, these were people on the edge of something else emotionally, something barren. They had none of Zeb's emotional high's or low's, they were so stoic. Zeb, the first person I have ever known with Down's Syndrome, was someone who was so passionate about everything. And I always thought that that made his life a wonderful and worthwhile experience for better or for worse. I think we take our capacity to feel anything for granted, it's maybe more important than intellect. If you lived your life at a high level of brilliance but were completely dispassionate I don't think you'd be all that attached to your corner of the universe.
Being attached or involved I think is the very core of what we should be about, I think it's what makes us happy, feeling that way have a place in the world. For nearly two years of my life, for a variety of reasons, I felt a strange sense of being out of context. It was entirely self-imposed so you aren't going to hear me blame someone or something else, they may have provided the stimulus but all my wounds were ultimately self-inflicted. This isn't about me though, I'm only trying to bring a frame of reference to this paragraph. Being a part of other people's lives and having a sense that you have some significance to the people who are significant to you sounds like something an afterschool special tells you, but it really is probably the essential part of being 'happy'. So my point in all that is trying to articulate the sorrow I feel for someone who is somehow not inclined to either an intellect or an active and healthy emotional connection with his or her world.
One of Tim's brothers needed to the use the restroom and, much like in the supermarket, didn't know where in the store it was. So I escorted him, my eyes slightly shrink-wrapped in tears. After he found his way through the door; Heather approached and I think for a moment saw something unusual on my face. Bless her she didn't say anything, but I was still thinking "he never told me, we've talked about so many things. I had no idea."
Like I said, hard to deal with. Even now in typing this I'm partly afraid of offending someone because this is such a powerful thing to have to discuss. Anyways, that's just an experience I wanted to put into text. If for no other reason I may see it oneday and say "oh yeah, that's why I should feel grateful every day."